men/women...

Subject: Men v. Women
Source: my inbox

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators~

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, aftershave, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
A woman... (removed by blog administrator :D

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new.

CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.-A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.-A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their dentist appointments,romances, best friends, favorite foods,secret fears, hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.